Dylan Mulvaney's Days of Larp-hood
It's day whatever of Dylan Mulvaney's LARPhood...and Captain Barbie Pouch is still on a wild goose-purse chase.
A week ago Dylan Mulvaney was a girl. Yesterday, suddenly, they elevated themselves majestically to becoming a woman - simply by getting a place at the Forbes Power Women's Summit to speak about...I don't know...Barbie Pouches or how many tampons they can fit in their Goose Purse without getting Toxic Shock Syndrome or something.
If you're not aware of the lively - and bewilderingly popular - TikTok/Instagram accounts of Dylan, then you're in for a treat. Or an instant desire to reverse the 'What The Fuck?' bus about twelve stops. In short, Dylan was a gay man, who decided during Lockdown (because why not) that they were non-binary - then when that didn't earn enough likes/hits, they announced they were actually a 'girl' (surprise!!) all along.
Now, with somewhere in the region of 7 million followers, their 'Days of Girlhood' videos document their coming out, how they apply their make-up, tuck in their 'Barbie Wand' - and yes, that is what you think it is - and inexplicably carry Tampons around with them, for no real reason.
Where to start? Well, let's go ahead and reverse the 'What The Fuck?' bus those twelve stops. At it's most basic level, this is just insulting, infantilising bullshit. A grown biological male larping about girlhood - wearing ill-fitting swimwear, PVC catsuits and sporting terrible hair extensions. In one breath talking about the 'surgeries they may or may not have' (red flag there - I'm guessing they won't have any) through to the demeaning language they use to describe genitals - the aforementioned Barbie Pouches and Barbie Wands.
At a higher level, this is yet another example of a biological males encroaching on female spaces and not taking the word 'no' for an answer. Just this week, a young woman and content creator, Jess, who goes by the name Slxthkween on Twitter/TikTok has been doxxed by Dylan and his merry band of Larphooders for merely pointing out the raging misogyny in what they're doing - check out the link above to watch her on-point critique.
In their response, Dylan patronisingly tried to take her down - and failed, with fake sincerity, and of course, the good old 'don't attack me because mental health and suicide' threats - oldest and dirtiest trick in the book. Oddly enough, when another content creator Mike Harlow did something similar (and also utterly wonderful) - absolute crickets from Dylan. Mike has been consistent in his correct criticisms of both Dylan and social media's other Child Catcher Jeffery Marsh for some time now but hasn't really received any pushback - at least not in the same way Jess aka Slxthkween has. Now...why would that be? Possibly the difference between Barbie Pouches and Barbie Wands, I'd wager.
The arguments from women come thick and fast. Dylan is inspiring. Dylan is harmless. Dylan is full of love and kindness. No. What you're seeing is a good actor, playing a role. You're not seeing anything approaching reality here. You see a snapshot of a man, playing a woman when there's a camera pointing in their face - which is an awful lot, admittedly. What you don't see is what happens when the camera is off...
Why are we standing for this? Is it because Dylan is the epitome of white-middle class male privilege? They're a diminutive waif like creature that looks fragile and delicate therefore they pose no harm..? Dylan is just as harmful to the cause of women as the TiM who weedles their way into female only spaces - whether they be toilets, changing rooms or prisons. However, primarily because of his seemingly gentle, affable appearance we're conditioned to think it's not harmful. It is. It doesn't matter how many days of girlhood they record for posterity. The 5 o'clock shadow doesn't lie. Women are being sold down the river to give biological males like this chance after chance in the spotlight.
You don't see it yet, but you will. Behind that Barbie Pouch is a tuck-up of epic proportions.
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