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UK: Girl (14) Suspended After Boy Assaulted Her in Mixed-Sex Toilets

The teachers decided that the male student was the victim.

Andreia Nobre
Andreia Nobre

Nicola Murray, the mother of a 14 year old girl from Perthshire, Scotland, said on December 10 that her 14 year old daughter was “accosted in the school toilets” by an 18 year old male student. Allegedly, he demanded to know whether she was a girl or a boy because she was not dressed in a “feminine” way. Ms Murray took to Twitter to denounce the assault.

According to Ms Murray, after the male student asked her daughter if she was a boy or a girl, she refused to respond and tried to get past him. Failing to get a reaction out of her, the 18 years old male student allegedly “punched her in the face.” Ms Murray said that her daughter fought back and retaliated with a punch. The teachers decided that the male student was the victim of a vicious attack and suspended the girl, but not the male student.

Ms Murray said that she met with the teachers who suspended her daughter and complained about the unfair punishment. According to her, the 14 year old girl is a “tomboy” who does not perform hyper-sexualized feminine stereotypes in dressing. She was asked if she was a boy or a girl for this reason and told the school that they are failing their students by reinforcing “rigid gender stereotypes that wouldn’t be out of place in the 1950’s.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my daughter being a tomboy,” wrote Ms Murray on Twitter. “She’s female and proud of it.” The teachers told her that her daughter was suspended because “the boy was crying.”

“Apparently he was crying and she was angry”, said Ms Murray. “Her being angry is a perfectly valid reaction.”

Talking about the incident, Nicola Murray said that her daughter should not be forced to explain her dressing code to the male student. “She didn’t owe him a response or politeness… She didn’t owe this boy anything.”

According to Ms Murray, her daughter has complained to her that she is being bullied since she cut her hair last Spring, and that the boy who attacked her daughter, with other students, have been “attempting to shame and humiliate her into ‘admitting she’s trans.’ My daughter is very proudly female. She’s just sporty and not interested in stereotypes.”

Nicola also complained to the school about safeguarding issues in unisex toilets, which she has already raised several times. According to her, the toilets were changed into unisex over the summer, before the current school term, without consulting parents or having any kind of risk assessment or warning. “It’s creating a lot of problems for female students,” Nicola said.

“They’re either not drinking all day, risking dehydration, or holding on, risking UTI’s… It’s also allowing males into female spaces. All of these policies always make women and girls collateral damage and it’s not ok.”

Ms Murray said she has taken the case about the physical assault to the police now. The male student is who physically assaulted her minor daughter, is an adult “And they better charge him… he is being investigated.” The mother also said that, if the male student is not charged, she will be complaining to the chief constable. “Ball's in their court. I won’t be backing down,” she wrote.

Nicola Murray also started receiving threats and nasty comments from several trans activists since she told her daughter’s story. They have been relentlessly attacking her for days.

Some are calling women like Nicola “pervy TERFs” for talking about the dangers of unisex toilets, claiming that feminists are demanding “genital checks” on children at toilets. User Brandy Spears has taunted Nicola asking if she had “any updates” on her daughter being “genital policed in a toilet?”

Other users seem to be demanding that Nicola recognize that her daughter is a trans boy. “I’ve had a few of you arguing with my followers in various threads twisting the narrative and calling my daughter masculine and trans,” she tweeted. Ms Murray said that her daughter is being attacked for being a tall girl who likes sports and has short hair.

“School has been fully aware (of these issues with female toilets and gender ideology) and, although they say they’ll do something, we’re seeing no actual action,” Nicola told 4W.Pub. In her daughter's readmission meeting, the school told Ms Murray that they have dealt with the situation and “disciplined the boy,” but “nothing has been done yet.”

“The whole culture within the school ignores the needs of female students. There’s trans flags in nearly every classroom. Most lessons are wasting time on gender ideology rather than the subject. My daughters have recorded lessons where teachers have wasted half an hour going on about ‘if you identify as this or identify as that’ rather than what it should be of books out and let’s learn! I’ve told the school my children aren’t there to be indoctrinated into a cult ideology that regards their biological sex as ‘a feeling’ and ‘bigotry.’”

“They’re victim blaming by punishing her for her reaction and understandable upset and anger rather than placing the blame where it belongs with the boy who assaulted her,” Nicola finishes.

This is not the first time Ms Murray has been made a target for trans activists. She has first come under  attack when her support group, Brodie’s Trust, announced its position about women-only spaces in September 2021.

Brodie’s Trust is a support group for women who have experienced pregnancy loss after domestic violence. After a meeting with the CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre (ERCC), the group decided to not send vulnerable women to the service “in its current state.” The CEO, Mridul Wadhwa, is on record saying that women needed to “reframe their trauma” if they wanted single-sex spaces.

Nicola said she stands “unshakably” for women and girls. “My support group is exclusively for women. I will not be intimidated, gaslit, threatened or coerced!”

Ms Murray created the group Brodie’s Trust in 2018 after three pregnancy losses she had due to the abuse by her violent ex-partner. “One of them was a forced termination,” she told 4W.Pub. She lost her son Brodie at 39, and was left in “grief and traumatised.”

The support group she created aims to help other women in her situation. In July 2021, Ms Murray also started a petition to fight for stricter laws to help women like her. She called on courts to take “greater account of the loss of a baby when sentencing abusers.” The petition demands the introduction of “Brodie’s Law,” an “unborn victims of violence act.” The aim is to make a domestic assault that results in miscarriages or fetal/pregnancies losses a specific offense. This will “enable the judiciary to adequately prosecute perpetrators.”

“The petition is currently being considered by the Citizens Participation and Public Petitions Committee at the Scottish Parliament,” Ms Murray said.


Only when we know about the violence women and girls face, are we able to make a change.

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Andreia Nobre

Andreia is a Brazilian journalist and writer, and women and children's rights advocate. She is passionate about anthropology and cultural diversity.